Recap – December

It’s recap time! As most of my readers know, I always do a recap at the end of every month to not only keep update of my personal life, but also to encourage others to reevaluate their life. The only way we can be better is to look back on any mistakes or horrible moment as a learning experience. Once we learn the lesson all those moments were trying to teach us, we can proceed onto the next month and year more wise and confident.

However, it’s not all about focusing on the bad times. The recap is to think about the good times. Taking in even the smallest moments in our life and appreciating it. The other part of growth is being grateful for everything you have. For gratitude brings more blessings. Gratitude keeps us humble and in a positive mood. It makes us constantly aware, that no matter how awful is your circumstance there is always someone out there who wishes they were in your shoe. This kind of thinking helps you see the small things are part of the bigger picture in your life.

Now, enough explaining… let’s get to it. I will say this month have been mix emotions and a lot of ups and downs. Constant roller coaster ride with unpredictable dips, sky rocketing inclines, and of course twists and loops. I tried to do my best no matter what occasion arise. I definitely learned I am an emotional communicator. I didn’t so before because I consider myself as a logical person. So as a logical person, how can I be so emotional? It’s when I’m communicating my logic to other people, some individuals take it in some time of way. And yes, I notice I can be a bit of an aggressive facial expression time to time, but it’s mainly the way I deliver my logic. It’s very emotional and aggressive. I use to think it’s my logical thinking that can perceive me as a cold person to others. Which still can be true, but I also think it’s how it’s presented. I have to learn how to less emotional in my delivery and use more sympathetic wording when talking to individuals.

I definitely took a chance in putting myself out there a little more. Besides going on dates, but also going to the office Christmas party. Hence the blog entry about tips on how to deal with Office Holiday parties when you have anxiety. If you haven’t read it yet, click here. Doing so brought me a little closer to people and had people think very different of me, which made me a more approachable person.

I continued working out and dieting. I will admit some days I mess up on the dieting. But for the most part it was steady. The exercising did not wavered though. I stayed committed through and through. My trainer was very proud of me. Telling her clients will complain on most task she give. Though it was clear I did not want to do certain movements, I did not complain, I just did them. I hope to continue the positive road.

I am concern about next month and next year. Coworkers at my job seems to be two face and been trying to get me in trouble. All I can say is that I am a hard worker and I do my best everyday. I try to keep constant communication between my boss and I to make sure we are in the same page. But apparently, even he, haven’t been so honest with me and there are things I have done that may not be to his liking. Even though he have communicated to me otherwise. These types of things makes me worried because every January they go through the budget. To see if people who are temps can be fully hired, if someone can get a promotion or raise, if they can cover business travels and etc. If they can’t it’s either nothing happens or people are let go. With all this office politics and pettiness, I am worried I will not continue with this company in 2020. Leaving me jobless.

Snapchat-2115288864I had extremely high hopes for 2020. I remembered talking to my older brother in the beginning of November stating how 2020 is going to be my year. For the past few years I was never optimistic about the upcoming new year. But for some reason, I thought, 2020 is going to be different. I don’t know why. I had a gut feeling it will be a great year for me. Now seeing how my 2019 is ending and all these negative circumstances that have unexpected pop up, I am afraid 2020 is not the year for me.

All I can say is I really tried leave December in a positive note. Thank you all for being there for me. I feel like just like I was going through my journey, I was there during yours. It’s funny and weird, for people have not never met face to face, we have become close friends. I ham truly blessed to have all you by my side.

I hope you December was better than your November. If not, we have the next month and the next year to fix that. Don’t give up hope. We can all get through anything life throws at us. We just have to adult one day at a time. xoxo

 

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