Overcoming Your Fears

Okay, today is Friday! And if you follow me on my Instagram, @OnlyMichy, you would know I call it Fearless Friday! So I decided to create an entry on how to be fearless. I mean, why not? Part of adulting is being fearless. I’m going to explain the process on overcoming your fears. Now, I’m going to use an example of asking somebody out. I’m not saying this process only works for asking someone out. It can be used for requesting a promotion at your job, moving to another state/country, or getting over the fear of heights. Whatever your niche is, please us these steps for your fear(s), okay? Cool! Let’s begin.

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Be Scared. I know what you’re thinking, “I thought this is a post about being fearless. How is being scared going to help me to be fearless?” Great question! It’s okay to be scared. Being scared is a good thing. Actually it’s how human beings use to survive long time ago during the cave man days. The act of being scared, cautious our ancestors to be careful. Also, being scared is kind of our self-caution talking to us in an indirect matter. There are many people who walk around with a lot of issues, but are not scared about them. You know why? Because they are most likely in denial about their issues and don’t want to believe they exist. Being scared is almost a way of showing that you are a self-aware individual in a sub cautious level. So kudos to you for that!  Just remember everybody gets scared and you are not alone on that. Cause I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one scare about asking your crush on a date (or asking for a promotion or sky diving and etc.).

Now that we established it’s okay to be scared, the only thing is, not to let it control you. You can’t let it get the best of you. Relax and breathe before you stress yourself out or get a panic attack. If so, please read my blog Panic Attack to learn tricks on how to manage them. Anyway, when you let fear take over, it will consume your mind. Once fear consume you mind, it controls your life. So not only you will end up not asking your crush on a date but anybody else in fact. And that well deserve promotion? Never will happen. Even if you find a new job that pays more, you will most likely come up with the same situation again. So you will keep running for the rest of your life? Nope! Not on my watch. **snap**snap**

So how do we go about that? By meditating. Most of the time there is more than what meets the eye from our fear. What we think is the obvious reason, it’s not the case. It can be deeper than what you think. You sometimes have to sit there, really think, and scratch the surface of things. And trust me, that can be the scarier part than the fear itself for some people, because it might trigger individuals. However, this step is just to meditate, NOT to overwhelm yourself with negative thoughts. Just figure out the reason why, then quickly move on. Remember, we’re just visiting thoughts. Not settling in and make the place our home. You feel me? So you might recall painful past of rejections from asking people out or requesting a raise. Whatever it is, explore it.

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After you have found out the real reason why you’re scared, let that shit go! Yall know that annoying song from Frozen? Sing it with me, “Let it go, let it go, let it go…” Yes! Toss it out. Because how much you want to bet, majority of the reasons why you’re scared is over something you have no control of! If that’s the case, cut yourself free from those thoughts. Cause trying to control the controllable will eat you alive. Once you let go, you will feel lighter and more confident about yourself. Then that thing that you were scared of doesn’t seem such a big deal in the first place. Like, if you’re scared of the person saying no, there’s nothing you can do about. You can’t control the individual. You’re not Professor X from the X-Men! That’s not how it works. All you can do is accept it and be emotionally prepared for it. Beyond that, you can’t control the outcome.

Now, if it’s something you have control of, then what are you waiting for? Do whatever it takes to manage it. Once that is straightened out, then again, your self-esteem will boost and what seems like a huge mountain will turn into a hill. Like the reason why you can’t ask someone out or ask for a promotion is because you have a stuttering problem. Take some speech improvement classes or write an email. If it’s fixable, don’t procrastinate and just get to it. Ask for help if you need it, but do it.

IMG_0018Now that you have meditated, let go of the uncontrollable, and straighten things out, at this point all you have to do it to take action. Meaning? Face your fear full on. After doing all these steps are you going to be 100% bold and ready to make that fear your bitch? Maybe not… lol! It’s okay to still be a bit shaken up, but this time you’re more confident, prepared, and ready to take a chance. So do it! Even if the outcome doesn’t work out, at least you tried. That’s more than what most individuals have ever done. So go ahead swipe that person off their feet! Or tell your boss that you’re the real MVP! Whatever it is, do it. I believe in you.

I hope my quirky blog helped you to become fearless today and every day. Just gotta remember to adult one day at a time. Have a wonderful weekend yall!

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